Ask the Experts | 3 Tips for Creating a Wedding that Reflects You

Hello! I am so excited to be here with you! I am Stephanie Abbitt, a wedding designer and stylist. You may think that a stylist just puts pretty things together on a wedding day. On the base level, yes. I work with color palettes, flowers, invitations, outfits, cake design- the details of a wedding, to make sure that they are cohesive. But there’s more. Weddings are more than that. Your wedding is more than that. It is more than a few colors put together, some roses and maybe ranunculi, some envelopes, and pieces of paper. These are all beautiful and wonderful, but there’s more. Underneath all of the beautiful is depth and meaning. Do you believe that?

Have you ever attended a wedding and wondered why the bride and groom chose what they did? They may have picked greenery as their table runner, not just because it was beautiful, but because it meant something to them. It brought them back to the times when they visited wineries and walked through the vineyards. They may have chosen to include a drawing of a building on their invitation suite, not just because it filled white space, but because it meant something to them. The drawing was of a building on their family’s farm that was offered to be their venue. These moments were a part of their story that were brought to life throughout their wedding day. The purpose of these choices was to create a wedding – an experience that becomes a monumental piece of your story- that reflects who you are as a person and as a couple.

So how can you do this for your wedding? Here are 3 tips that will give you direction in moving towards a wedding that reflects you.


1. Tell your stories 

Yes, I mean YOUR stories. This is your wedding day- the bride’s and the groom’s. It a beautiful joining of the two of you! What a beautiful opportunity to approach the union together. So I will say it again. Tell your stories. Envision them. Talk about them. Write them down. Something that can help you in this is to ask questions. Whenever I think of asking questions, I have a memory of one of my cousin’s (3 years old) walking around asking the question, “Why?”, to every little thing. It made me laugh, but it was irritating when I could no longer answer why. I ended up just saying, “Because I said so!” This little girl, though, has it right. We need to ask questions and ask why. So, let’s get introspective here! You need to look inside- inside of yourself, inside of your fiance, inside of your story. Who are you? What are your values? Why? What are the things you remember the most? Can you think of specific moments? Now dig deeper. Who was there in those moments? What was there? Even deeper. What were the surroundings- the smells, the sounds? Why are these moments important to you? Why are these moments important to your fiance?


2. Allow yourself to be creative

Once you have the answers to your questions or your story, read through what you have written. What are these answers telling you? What are words that you notice you have repeated? What elements are your favorite? Think about how you can utilize these elements in your wedding. As a piece from my example earlier, is the vineyard important to you? How can it be used? In the color palette? In the florals? Food or beverages? How much do you want it used? A lot? A little? Could vines or the vineyard be drawn on your invitation? Could you use vines in your florals? Do you see where I am going with this?


3. Be intentional

We are continuously bombarded with inspiration and ideas. We consume, consume, and consume some more until we feel frozen, overwhelmed, and defeated. Have you felt that? I know I have numerous times. Don’t get me wrong- inspiration and ideas are wonderful, but they need to be used in the right way. When you create your wedding around telling your story, it makes it easier to sift through the inspiration and ideas. The word intentional means to do something on purpose. You hear this word often in relation to decluttering a home or being purposeful with your schedule. While you may want to do those things during wedding planning, and that’s great, but it’s not quite what I am talking about. Once you have your story and the elements that are the most important to you both, you can choose, intentionally, the details you will include in your wedding. Once you have finished the hard work, that introspective work, details can fall into place. Make sure you remain in touch with your values and what is important to you as a couple. That is what grounds you and helps you refocus when things get overwhelming or the consumption of inspiration is making it difficult to design. Your wedding is more than a few colors put together, some roses and maybe ranunculi, some envelopes, and pieces of paper. Do you believe that? I do. I absolutely do.

Want to follow along with Stephanie?!




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